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New Hampshire Results


First Place: Mitt "I abused my dog" Romney -- Well the party insiders are doing well at maintaining their candidate. The D.C. insider "conventional wisdom" is that it is "Mitt's turn". Sadly he lies constantly and everyone knows it, is stiffer than Gore, conservatives hate him and fundamentalists consider his religion "a cult".

Second Place: Ron Paul. If gay people dream of moving to the utopia that is San Francisco, Libertarians dream of moving to New Hampshire. So, of course he did well here. But... wait... it is an "open primary" which means you don't have to be a Republican to vote it the Republican primary here. So it is estimated that nearly 50% of voters weren't Republican. And he got a distant second? Did you know there is a webcrawler that finds new webpages on the internet that mention Ron Paul and post automated pro-Paul propaganda if there is a comments section? I guess that strategy didn't win the votes people expected.

Third Place: Huntsman. His "I'm the only non-crazy person running" theme is doing well with the voters. I actually like this guy... except that he's so anti-choice that he makes... hmm... damn, I need a good analogy here. I bet Archer would have the perfect thing to say. I actually think this guy is the only person that would have a chance at beating Obama.

Fourth Place: Newt Gingrich. Sadly the SuperPACs he is running against him used what could only be described as "political hate speech" in a flood of TV adverts and that really hurt him. "Political Hate Speech" is a recent thing. It didn't exist 20-30 years ago. It was invented in the 1990s by a guy who not just invented it, but he wrote about it and gave private Republican-only trainings on how to do it. He said "every time there is a camera in front of you call your opponent a traitor and un-American". Fellow Republicans that refused his advice were scolded and called "old fashioned" and were pushed from the party. Sadly that guy was basically kicked out of the party in a financial scandal combined with an adultery scandal. What ever happened to that guy? Oh wait, it was Newt Gingrich! Gosh, blow-back is a bitch!

Fifth Place: Santorum. If you hate everyone, you'll love Santorum. Especially if you hate gays... well, not all gays, just the ones that are going to destroy the world because they want Marriage Equality.

Sixth Place: Perry. Remember when he joined the race and conservatives said he's a clone of George Bush, Jr. and would go all the way? With 1% of the vote, why is he even staying in the race?

There ya have it.

Oh wait...

You may have noticed that I mentioned that Mitt Romney abused his dog. Was that unfair? He did strap his dog to the top of his car and drive from Mass to Canada at 60-70 miles per hour "as punishment for what the dog had done". That has about as much to do with whether or not he'd be a good president as the fact that Obama's middle name is "Hussein". So, we should only mention this dog thing as often as Republicans mentioned that Obama's middle name is Hussein... right? Oh wait, they gave Obama's full name every... fucking... time... they... could while on the campaign trail.

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I get the feeling that Democrats would love to run against Mitt Romney in the same way that Republicans were hoping that Hilary Clinton would win the Democratic primaries last time.

Actually, Romney is starting to catch some flak for his former career at Bain Capital, where his "streamlining" of companies they bought meant laying off a lot of people, outsourcing jobs overseas, etc. He's not handling the criticism well at all.

Huntsman's my favorite of the bunch, but the anti-choice thing makes me nuts... I work for a high-risk OB service and abortions come with the territory.

The really amusing this was all the other Republican candidates going after him over his record at Bain. Kind of weird to hear Gingrich talking like someone from Occupy Wall Street.

Tom, I think that's spot on. You really nailed it.

Huntsman would be vastly more likable if a) he considered small government to include getting out of the religion game, and b) the press ignored him. Oh, wait, that would make him Johnson. ;-) It's telling of the party's "marriage" to religion that a wildly successful, sane, Republican governor can't get the time of day if he thinks government should stay out of the bedroom and people's bodies... while a very similar governor merits attention because he is against marriage equality and abortion choice.

I have no problem with you mentioning the dog thing, though I would argue it has *more* to do with whether he'd be a good president than the "Hussein" middle name thing.

But where are you getting "as punishment for what the dog had done?" I've seen discussions about the dog on the roof but nothing about it being a punishment.

Huntsman couldn't give Obama much of a challenge because he doesn't seem to be able to put together an effective campaign. Whatever Obama's weaknesses are, he can outcampaign anyone currently on the national scene. Romney's only real strength, IMO, is a fairly skillful campaign.

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