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Black Friday Violence

Dear Consumers,

The news media knows that not much newsworthy happens the day after Thanksgiving. Congress is out of session, everyone stays home, etc.

If you don't get trampled on, hurt, and possibly killed during a "Black Friday Doorbuster Riot" there won't be much to report on. Newsrooms around the country are reserving space in their Friday night or Saturday edition for stories about you getting killed.

Please, don't let them down. Many of these news organizations are struggling because their profits are only increasing X% and Wall Street is demanding XX% increases which makes them (by comparison) look like they are "struggling".

Please help these "struggling" news agencies. Without your stupidity, they might have to report on corruption, the homeless, or real news.


(P.S. Alternatively, realize that you don't need more electronics or CPCFC (cheap plastic crap from China) and stay home. Baked goods make the best Holiday gift.)

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This post is full of awesomeness (and I'm not just saying this because I like to make stuff for The Holidays.)

mmm..cookies totally win :D

Well, unfortunately, I actually really *do* need more electronics. But I won't be buying them on Friday.

Also remember that Wal-Mart goes out of its way to cause stampedes on Black Friday.

I plan to be nowhere near a store that day, and hopefully that weekend.

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